direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
