Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Small penises have feelings too.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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