I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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