the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Quick, to the slutcave!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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