very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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