Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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