I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
