So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
