Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
