People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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