Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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