did you get engaged???
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you would pick up someone in the library
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
ok first of all what the fuck
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
