babies were throwing up all over the place
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
