Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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