what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
