you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
