In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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