that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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