Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
