was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize