There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
