I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize