You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
