Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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