Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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