So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize