Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize