the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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