im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize