dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
