Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
