sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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