It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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