You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it was like eating out sand paper
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
