My underwear smells like fireworks.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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