If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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