i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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