So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
