Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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