One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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