operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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