I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize