you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm passing your future prison.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
