god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize