just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
