loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
In America we eat man semen.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize