another moral hangover. fuck.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
