This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
