we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
