he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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