Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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