if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
