It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Then you guys just all showered together...?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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