I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
