His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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