Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
