i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize