I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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