Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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