I heard we made out
time to smoke my breakfast
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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