He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
