dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The power of my boobs compel you
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
