Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
is that a dick in a sweater?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Shame - the story of my life.
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